Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

I don’t know if this guy was fucking with me or what last night (he was a Tisch graduate from Rochester so you knooooow), but he told me the funniest second-hand story about James Franco at NYU ever. Goes something like this:

Okay, so my friend sees James Franco in an elevator. And he’s (the friend) like “Hey man, I know you’re new to New York, if you ever want someone to show you around, I’d be happy to.”

And James Franco is like “That’s so great man, give me your number.”

Several weeks go by, and this dude has forgotten about the incident. Then he gets a call from a guy named Alex, saying he’s Franco’s assistant, and Franco wants this guy to come to Central Park at 7 am the next day for a shoot. So the friend goes. And when he gets there, it’s him, Franco, two other actors from their class, and this kid Alex. And Franco is in a wheelchair, with a blanket over his legs like FDR, and a camcorder in his hand. Alex hands this dude a script for a shoot…and it’s basically a simulated anal sex porn scene in Central Park.

Now the guy telling the story is ready to chalk it up to his friend exaggerating, or maybe some weird performance art Franco is doing. Then he hears about a similar experience through this other guy, who tries to hand Franco a script after class. And the Freaks and Geeks star is like “Man, I don’t have time to read it now…but can you come upstate on Saturday and give it to me?”

So this kid makes plans, again through this assistant Alex, and goes to bumfuck Woodstock or some shit to meet Franco in a trailer. And he gets there, and the lights are all off, and Franco is lying on a couch, all tangled in blankets wearing nothing but a speedo. And this dude is like “Uh….here’s my script?”

And Franco goes, “No…the script’s already on the table, man. You’re playing Alan.” Sure enough, there are some scenes typed up on the table, and there’s a character named Alan…without any lines. His only role is to get ass-raped in this one part.

SO: Either James Franco is on some weird crazy shit right now, OR (and this is my theory) he totally knew that Tisch kids would be bugging him all the time with stories, so he decides to play along and come off as a total psycho pervert. Would totally predate his 30 Rock appearance, btw.

Or this guy was lying to me in order to make good conversation. In which case: well done, sir!